Hello.

Reflections of a 19 yr old

Iono why I'm writing this, must be out of boredom, but I guess once in awhile it is good to reflect......and think ab out the past....about what has happened in ur life the pass few years since the day you were born. This is kind of a long post so if you're not into reading it just shut if off, I just felt like i had to let it out.

Can you remember that far?

1-6 yrs old:

The first and OLDEST memory that I can think out of my head right now is of me, walking home at night with my family, and in my hand was this box...some transformers toy....a beetle i think....if I remember correctly.....it was a...whatchamecallit...ah.....Insectacon....yeah......my very first memory I can think of when I was young...loved that toy, wonder what happened to it.

I had 2 best pals, Keith Teo and Shaun Yeo...yeah, I actually remember their names....freaky yar? I have this old worn sticker on my old cupboard of another friend whose name was really weird, Bandar Tjetty...I forgot where he was from, but if I remember correctly he looked chinese to me.....then I recall a guy called Ivan....cant remember who he is, but he was a friend of mine.

I recalled my kindergarten at Adam Road, not it's this new church, the school moved into the bigger church at the side, u know, that big brown one with the stained glass cross??? Agapeland.....yeah.....that's the name of my very first school......I actually remembered how happy I was there....the lunch meals, the afternoon naps.....the running around acting like super heros trying to save the day or something like that.....seems awfully weird now, but it definitely rawked then, I was the kind of MY WORLD =D

I recall this girl.....can't remember he name, I think I still have a picture of her somewhere, it was her under a tree.....really cute now that I can roughly recall it....she was one yr older than me, and we were boyfriend and girlfriend, puppy love i guess....heh heh.. =) I remember once during our school's afternoon nap where all the kids took one portable bed and slept for about 3 hrs, she put her mattress beside mine and told me she wanted to talk, so we did.

We talked for awhile, and she got tired.....I remember he telling me that she wanted to take a nap now, and if i wanted to talk to her i could just say the word "K-I-S-S".....well to be honest back my age....I was four if i remember correctly, I had no idea what KISS meant, until she told me.....sweet yar? That whole while when she was asleep, I kept saying those words hoping she'd wake up, but she didnt....so...well....I kissed her in the cheek....yar....I was a really cheeky boy yar? heehee....well I can't recall where she went or what happened for the next few yrs in kindergarten, somehow i just remember that one momen, and it was really sweet.... =)

I remember this big performance thing we had in our school......we were to act out different roles, some wore casual, some were to dress themselves in firemen, policement etc etc costumes......wore casual, but had a whole lota makeup i looked like a wayang....heehee.......I recall that during the middle of the performance i was getting so excited i actually shook my butt trying to get all the attention from the audience......it worked alright. =)

I remember during one afternoon nap i sneaked with my friends around the lil compound area and caught one of our teachers kneeling down at one corner of the room, he was praying....and crying....I never knew why he cried......but it shook me.....cause I never seen a man cry in my life.........I definitely never seen my teacher sob that bad.....I guess I'll never know why...

I remember making tuna and sardine toast....yep, I can't remember when, but I made it, ofcourse, with the guidance of one of our teachers.....and the sandwich.......well it turned out GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.... =)

7 years old:

I can't remember my first day of school, but I do remember that I had two cousins in my school, one in P5 and one in P6......James, the one in p5, was my favourite cousin at my mom's side, he used to live at the third floor at the same condo that i was in....we used to go up to his house for dinner and his mum would cook really nice food.....my favourite back then was deep friend potato balls....u know, them ones in that lil box.....I can't seem to find them in supermarts anymore.....sigh...

Anyway, as for my older cousin in P6, she had alot of girl-friends, I recall during one assembly her friends ran up to me and went something like "you're Huiting's cousin right?? so cuuuuute!!!!!!! come come follow us we bring u to ur jie jie".....or something like that....heh heh....yeah I do remember that so stop laughing. =
I remember my first time on a public transport bus with my p6 cousin....she took me home, she was more street-wise than i was back then. I also recall the school-bus uncle who fetched me to school everyday.....I can still recgonise him.....and yeah he still serves as the bus uncle for Peihwa Primary.... =)

8 yrs old:

Primary two......I recall me really digging the Terminator 2 Movie......I was like, going around acting like the terminator, me and my friend Ivan(i think, that's a different Ivan there) would act up like them and run around the school during recess.

I remember another girl I fell for, she was from some tution course I was in at Launa Winston(if i remember that's how the school name was spelled.... hmm.........), her name was Samantha Ong.....I recall the first time she came in, and sat beside my table.......I also remember once she dropped her pen and I immediately reached down and took it up for her....=D I later met here again at another tution centre called Morris Alan near Novena when I was in Primary5, and I recall seeing her and her family once near my aunt's place when I was on the way home.....I sorta rushed pass her, and alsmot hit her younger sister, she turned around to see who was the mean kid only to find out it was a dumbass named Yikai.... =P

I remember then they had that cheena show called the unbeatables.....u know, that gambling show, and I once spent recess in class with my cheena teacher, and I would put a die in the cup and shake it, and 4/5 times I would guess the right number.....that really impressed her....I was some lucky guy wasn't I? =)

let's skip and fast forward to primary 6.....12 yrs old:

I remember Pamela Ong was the Prefect of my school, Louis Tan was a mischievious monkey, Ronnie Tan was in Table Tennis, so was Bing Zong.....this really religious guy, everytime he prayed before his meal during recess we would take away his food.....mean yar? but he could hit a hard ball with a table tennis bat so fast u'll freak out =P

I remember another girl I was inlove with....and maybe this time it really wasn't puppy love.....her name's Liu Yiwen. We were best friends in P6, I stood up for her and she stood up for me, we were always playing in class, I was the leader of my row of students which included Louis and this gal called Sheena, Yiwen was my Assistant leader for the row.....I remember we had to sush Louis up all the time or our teacher will minus away our points for our Row....we were Row 5 in the class, there were....well....5 rows in class..... heh heh..

I never got to say goodbye to Yiwen then....after PSLE, I came too late to get my results so by then she had already gone. I did meet her again in sec3 though....and sec4........she's changed alot, but still sweet, polite, and very shy kinda girl.....and she's always soft-spoken, it really was great hanging out with her, she wasn't the type who'd spend much time out in town though....always was a neighbourhood gal. =)

Oh, I also remember Noel Wong, this dude who later became my scout leader in sec school.......we walked home together with his maid once in awhile, he was always running about feeling really cheerful.....weird yar? he didnt seem like that in sec school though...heh heh

Sec1:

First day in Dunearn Secondary School..I remember sitting at class 1N5 instead of 1E5.....so I went to the wrong room, didnt get my paper, and later found out that my class was afew doors down the building.

I joined scouts the moment I saw it.......didnt know why, but i loved it...back then that is. I made friends with this dude called William or Wailun, and I saw Louis there too so I went up to say hi to him.

I remember how much the food kinda.....sucked? hm.....well not all larh I guess.....some were really good....the best part was that the softdrinks were CHEAP!!!! We didnt have softdrinks back then in my primary school.

Sec2:

First time I really got into yoyos by that big dumb oaf by the name of Yohans......last I heard(which was last month), he's getting married to a fillipino and is starting his new yoyo company.

Tingle, Nicholas, Leon and Ronnie....plus me......5 best friends....5......really really Ridiculously retarded bunch of monkeys.

My first real girlfriend......Ying Ying from Bukit View SEc...very ah-lian......got introduced by my classmate Qili, I had no idea how that relationship started out......but it was smooth for 3 months until i started to realise that our interests didnt match.....I guess I shouldnt have just kept quite and stop calling her....I just didnt know how to say it.....but it turned out ok, we remained friends for as long as until she changed her number and I forgot the ask Qili for it...er....yeah

Sec3:

OBS.......RAWKED.....that's when I saw Yiwen again.....she was really beautiful......really really....beautiful....too bad she was in a different group than mine....so I hardly had time talking to her, instead my group hung out more with Alicia Thong(yeah that's her last name alright), Cat, Lynn and Wailun....Leon couldn't make it, his knee got busted when it started taking in lots of water.......yikes....

First time I got to meet this other beautiful gal by the name of Pearl...was when I was walking with nicholas to the drink stall and she and her friend came walking from the direction of the principal's office towards the canteen......I didn't take much notice then, but my life really went for a ride about 2 yrs later.

sec4:

O LEVELS!!!!!!

I also recall being branded as the Despo King of Dunearn.....after being rejected by almost every girl-friend i made......yeah......Iono WHAT THE HELL I WAS THINKING THEN

17 yrs old:

Got to know Pearl a lil better..........suddenly I felt like I was starting to find someone I could really talk to since Yiwen....I was so glad, cause it really didn't matter how she looked......to be honest I'd give her a....well....6-6.5 out of 10 for looks? that don't really matter.....but her character and how she potrayed herself really really got me head over heels.....she was HOT.

I really thought I'd finally meet the right one, until she went steady.....that really sorta brought my spirits down.....alot...

18:

I recalled Admitting how I felt about her in May 2002....we had gone out together to catch a movie, then a drink at Holland V at Starbucks....then later at night we were chatting online......I remember her mentioning how cute I looked with my glasses...which are broken now btw.....I remember telling her how I had a crush on her.

Everything went fine.....until I got really in too deep and was kinda thinking about her all the time......I guess I really wanted to be my best for her, but I was over-doing it.....plus she was already attached...plus I'm an 18 yr old who plays with yoyos so.......well, u get the picture...anyway I remember....august 28th, thursday, that's when I really shocked her....that was the last time I met her at Coffeebean at Westmall....then on, we just remained internet buddies.....or at least....I tried to be her buddy......it was hard, especially when she kept using the word "pal" or "friend" or "buddy" in her conversation as though she wanting to remind me of where I stood......it was kinda upsetting.

My whole yr as an 18 yr old mainly revolved around this issue...sigh....

19 yrs old(present):

I finally decided that if I was going to try and forget the whole thing, it was time I stopped it entirely....I finally decided to break the friendship-bond between me and Pearl....it was hard, but she was like a drug to me, u can't stop until u stop it completely.....I had to do that.....I was being selfish thinking about howmuch it hurt for me to be her friend......i had to do it.....it was prolly one of the most selfish acts I;ve done for myself in a long time........I just had to......i don't know why i did it....

Ok back to some lighter subjects....just writing about it hurts sometimes.....

well.....I picked up Bottle Flairing...I guess you can say I'm pretty good at it right now, just 6 mths and I can do stuff ppl take 2 yrs to learn.....heehee... =)

Well we've come to tonight.....13th August 2003.....afew more days till the 28th......havn't seen her face in such a long time, yet that beautiful image of her's still looms within my head....her smile.......I'll always remember her smile.....=)

OK.....I guess I've poured jsut about enough, my hands are tired and I need ta sleep or I'll be late for work tmr.

You know.....they say that you start reflecting alot when you're about to loose ur life.....I mean I'm not saying anything, I've got no intentions of suicide or whatever.......but the thought just rang inside my head.....am I dying? doubt so.....I don't feel it.....anyway that's just all superstition...bah...heh

Well ya'll have a good night sleep now.

Takecare. =)

Andrew Lim Yikai
:)