The grim, I am

Name: Andrew

Age: 25 Years Old

I was born in 1984 and currently have 2 siblings, aged 23 and 18 this year. My dad works in a shipping company while my mum is an insurance agent.

I did my first stage performance in kindergarten when I was 5. I had my first crush when I was 6.

When in primary 1, I was constantly sent for tutoring in various private schools. I hate it. One week’s of tuition would normally include:

1 lesson at Launa Winston

1 lesson at Speech and Drama

1 math tuition from tutor who is an aunt of a friend

1 Chinese tuition from a teacher who was a part time nurse

2 evenings of swimming lessons

Daily tutoring from my mum every night with my Chinese.

Whenever I didn’t do well, I received even more tuition as a result. Tuition and tutoring from my mum would some times last till 11:30 at night.

When I was 8, I mentioned my interest of learning the piano to my Mum. I then got a piano and received tuition for it twice a week, after which my mum would make me practice for an additional 2 hours a day on the same piece of music again and again. When I got tired, I would get a scolding for not trying hard enough even though my fingers started to hurt. By 9, I hated the piano.

Initially, I started out getting 3^rd in class in primary 1 and by primary 3 I was in last place.

By primary 4, I was receiving at least 1 tuition a day, including Saturdays and Sundays. If I was unlucky, there’d be two in one day.

When I was 10 I ran around the pool during one of my swimming lessons, tripped, fell and landed face first on the floor. I broke a permanent tooth, and went to the Dentist the next day only to find out that my tooth could be fixed if I had rushed to the clinic right after the incident.

I spent the next 5 years on braces and finally got a crown to replace my missing tooth.

When I was 15, my best friend and I both had a crush on the same girl. My best friend got her. For a week I didn’t speak to him, but later learnt friendship was above anything else. We remain best friends through high school and till this date when I bump into him at SMU I still think of him as someone I’d back up when help was needed.

At 16, I had a crush on this girl who was a year older than me. Her name was Pearl and we used to hang out quite a bit. I got quite depressed for some time and severed all connections with her till this date. I regretted that.

At 18 yrs old, I almost got into a fight with a guy in class. I didn’t like him back when, thought of him as being arrogant and proud. Luckily no punches were thrown, I’m glad they didn’t

20 years old. The girl I thought to be the one and only broke my heart.

On the 18^th of February 2005, my Grandfather passed away. I never thought I’d be so broken up about it until the day of his cremation – 23^rd February.

24^th February 2005. I sat at home, tired from the 5 days I spent taking care of the wake with my cousins. It was my 21^st birthday.

22 years old. I broke the heart of a girl whom I treated as a good friend. I feel deeply sorry for my actions.

When I was about to ORD from the army at 23, a friend and former bunk mate of mine who was about to leave the army as well got into a serious accident near our camp. He was sent into the intensive care unit. The wrecked van was parked at a scrap corner of the parking lot where my camp was.

One day I went to look at the wreckage. You could see the driver’s side of the vehicle smashed all the way in, just inches away from the seat. Glass filled the insides of the driver’s area, you could see blood on the steering wheel, the chair, the mat and on what was left of the windshield. Every time I drive pass camp I would see the tree which the van had collided into. The bark had already started to heal, you could see the difference in color, which part was old bark and which part was fresh.

I haven’t heard from him ever since.

I soon found myself in UNLV. I spent the next few months of my life studying harder than I ever did. I took part in activities, got a student managerial position, became president of one of my school’s social clubs. School hasn’t been easy like it used to. In the past our Dean would communicate with us on a regular basis.

Soon, if we needed something done, we had to get it done ourselves…I don’t mean it in a sense that we had always been spoon fed. But as in, the only support we had from the school was verbal, the “I’m behind you on this” speech without any real aid.

I tried sounding off a few things before to the school, a misrepresented type out on the webpage…an initial conflict that was found on the local school forum. All of which had not been entertained till this date. I try to tell myself “maybe”, but “maybe” can only go so far. At the end, I still kept my hopes up, some things aren’t just worth brooding over.

Being a student hasn’t been easy. Trying to get an external company to help you with something is difficult, especially when you’re a student.

On December 2007, I had a lucky break for a tour to the Fullerton Hotel. It wasn’t easy, apparently the last time Fullerton had contact with the school, it was left hanging and Fullerton decided to exit seeing that no progress was being made. I was given the task to re-establish relations with both the hotel and the school, and at the same time get a tour going for H.A.

On Friday the 13th, March 2009, after more than 3 months of planning, I got Fullerton down to UNLV to meet with the Dean. In came WDA, who had other plans, but apparently had no appointment. Since Fullerton was “in town”, they figured they’d take the opportunity to talk to them about other plans.

My 1 hour session with the Dean, Hotel and H.A. was bumped, it was now a meeting with the WDA, the Dean and the Hotel. Months of planning thrown down the fucking drain. The Dean was aware of it, but allowed it to follow through. WDA was aware of it, but didn’t seem to care. Fullerton was aware of it, but made no comment about the change in agenda.

I now have little faith that the tour will become a reality, a lot of things are not confirmed, things that were meant to be covered that Friday are now left hanging with full of question marks.

Today I come back to school, sit at my desk during Chinese History class. It dawned on me….life can really screw you so bad it’s hard to stay positive under certain circumstances.

The LCD still shows the picture which we took as a group before their school tour. All lies.

Today I almost lost my will to study hard for anything…maybe the beggar on the streets who receives about $2 a day goes through life happier than the corporate businessman caught up in the rat race after all.